Saturday, February 4, 2012
A quick note.
Little Miss Virgin has moved! New posts and updates can now be found at www.littlemissvirgin.wordpress.com.
So you want to have a baby...
Let my start off by saying that I don’t have kids. I don’t really
want kids. I’m a 29 year old, unwed virgin. I have one niece and six
nephews. I don’t need kids. But this post isn’t really about kids.
Most people have what we have come to call “aha! moments”. Those moments of great inspiration or revelation where something finally clicks. The lightbulb goes off and you feel as though the whole world should feel as you do. I had one of those moments today and this is me sharing it with the world hoping I’m not the only one to feel this way.
I think that I can safely assume that, if you are reading this, you are aware of the mechanics how children come about. But let’s start at the beginning and all the while, I’ll put this into the context of what I really want to say:
It all starts of with a wedding (hopefully). There’s a groom and there’s a bride. In the context of Christianity, there’s Jesus, the groom, and the Church, the bride. Revelation 19:17 (ESV) says, “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready…”. There’s a wedding, and we’re a part of it.
If a woman wants to get pregnant, she knows that there are times when she can’t get pregnant and times when she can get pregnant. The bride has to be fertile in order to conceive. Ezekiel 17:5 (ESV) tells us, “Then he took of the seed of the land and planted it in fertile soil.” There is a right time and a wrong time to conceive. A time when a woman is fertile and a time when she is not. We, as Christians, are the same. If we truly wish to be impregnated with the things of God, it has to be at the right time. We need to be that fertile soil.
If the time is right and all things are going well, the groom will romance his bride. Isn’t that how God always is? He is always wooing His bride. This is no stale marriage. God wants us. We are always attractive to Him. He will chase after us. If we respond to God’s romancing, intimacy will follow. A bride cannot conceive without first sharing intimacies with the groom. You CANNOT expect to conceive the great things of God if you are not intimate with Him first. Like the idea of conceiving without first having sex, it is an impossibility. There was only one immaculate conception. It happened once and it will not happen again. There may be times when you don’t feel like it, but if I understand marriage correctly, when things are done right, you won’t regret a minute of it. God won’t let you down if you want to get close to Him.
So you get married (you accept Christ as Lord and Saviour of your life), you wait for the right time and your husband (Jesus) starts to romance you, He woos you. He wants you. Like any new bride, you accept His advances and you get intimate with Him. You let Him into your world. You let Him into your life and He doesn’t let you down. It’s worth every moment. Every second. James 4:8 (Message) tells us, “Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time.” A new bride has only to breathe and her groom will come a-runnin’.
And then, one day, you feel different. You sense a change. Something has happened and you can’t really explain it. It starts to grow and you begin to understand the changes that are taking place. You’ve conceived. A vision has been planted in your heart and you know, because Jesus is the ever-faithful bridegroom, that it’s from Him. Now what?
Once you find out your pregnant, you take extra steps to ensure you stay that way. You take care of yourself to nuture this new life growing inside of you. What was began as a part of you and a part of Someone else begins to take on a life of it’s own. But you can’t just leave it at that. There is a gestational period. A time of waiting. A time of wondering. But the whole time you wait in anticipation and expectation.
If you fail to take care of that seed that’s been planted, you may miscarry. You may even decide it’s not what you wanted after and and abort. Neither of these were ever a part of the plan. God intends for every seed He plants to grow and bear fruit.
Let’s say you make it through the pregnancy. Before you know it, it’s time to give birth. What was a joyous time of wonder and awe has now become the daunting idea of labour and delivery. All this time you know that what’s been growing on the inside of you is a wonderful gift from God. This amazing, miraculous thing was created because the time was right, the groom wooed you and you responded. You were intimate. But now you’re scared because it’s starting to get a little bit uncomfortable. There’s a bit of pain. And, as things progress, the discomfort gets worse. You wonder if you’re able to bear it.
“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:58 ESV) Here is where many Christians lose it. They can’t stand the pain. There are no drugs to ease the discomfort. They back down and never give birth to the life that God began within them. It’s too hard. It’s too uncomfortable. The promise never comes to fruition because they trusted God only enough to be wooed and romanced by Him, but not enough to get through the difficulty of the labour. They walk away fully believing that God was unfaithful when, in reality, they were the cheaters. They were the unfaithful. They left God standing in the delivery room waiting for a promise that will never be fulfilled because they couldn’t trust Him enough to believe He’d really come through on His word to never leave. Hebrews 13:5 says, “…for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you norgive you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]“.
I’ve said all that to say this: God does not subscribe to the North American ideas on marriage. He does things right. In order to conceive, you must be His bride (John 14:6 “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”). God will chase after you like a husband after a wife. He will never be unfaithful. (Psalm 146:6 “… he remains faithful forever.”) If you are truly intimate with God, He will plant a vision in your heart and cause it to grow, but you must also be faithful to nuture it. And lastly, if you want to see that vision come to fruition, you may have to experience some labour pains. Things might get uncomfortable. It might hurt for a while. But, in the end, when that vision is finally birthed and brought into reality, the hardship you went through to get to that point will fade away in the light of the glory of God.
Most people have what we have come to call “aha! moments”. Those moments of great inspiration or revelation where something finally clicks. The lightbulb goes off and you feel as though the whole world should feel as you do. I had one of those moments today and this is me sharing it with the world hoping I’m not the only one to feel this way.
I think that I can safely assume that, if you are reading this, you are aware of the mechanics how children come about. But let’s start at the beginning and all the while, I’ll put this into the context of what I really want to say:
It all starts of with a wedding (hopefully). There’s a groom and there’s a bride. In the context of Christianity, there’s Jesus, the groom, and the Church, the bride. Revelation 19:17 (ESV) says, “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready…”. There’s a wedding, and we’re a part of it.
If a woman wants to get pregnant, she knows that there are times when she can’t get pregnant and times when she can get pregnant. The bride has to be fertile in order to conceive. Ezekiel 17:5 (ESV) tells us, “Then he took of the seed of the land and planted it in fertile soil.” There is a right time and a wrong time to conceive. A time when a woman is fertile and a time when she is not. We, as Christians, are the same. If we truly wish to be impregnated with the things of God, it has to be at the right time. We need to be that fertile soil.
If the time is right and all things are going well, the groom will romance his bride. Isn’t that how God always is? He is always wooing His bride. This is no stale marriage. God wants us. We are always attractive to Him. He will chase after us. If we respond to God’s romancing, intimacy will follow. A bride cannot conceive without first sharing intimacies with the groom. You CANNOT expect to conceive the great things of God if you are not intimate with Him first. Like the idea of conceiving without first having sex, it is an impossibility. There was only one immaculate conception. It happened once and it will not happen again. There may be times when you don’t feel like it, but if I understand marriage correctly, when things are done right, you won’t regret a minute of it. God won’t let you down if you want to get close to Him.
So you get married (you accept Christ as Lord and Saviour of your life), you wait for the right time and your husband (Jesus) starts to romance you, He woos you. He wants you. Like any new bride, you accept His advances and you get intimate with Him. You let Him into your world. You let Him into your life and He doesn’t let you down. It’s worth every moment. Every second. James 4:8 (Message) tells us, “Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time.” A new bride has only to breathe and her groom will come a-runnin’.
And then, one day, you feel different. You sense a change. Something has happened and you can’t really explain it. It starts to grow and you begin to understand the changes that are taking place. You’ve conceived. A vision has been planted in your heart and you know, because Jesus is the ever-faithful bridegroom, that it’s from Him. Now what?
Once you find out your pregnant, you take extra steps to ensure you stay that way. You take care of yourself to nuture this new life growing inside of you. What was began as a part of you and a part of Someone else begins to take on a life of it’s own. But you can’t just leave it at that. There is a gestational period. A time of waiting. A time of wondering. But the whole time you wait in anticipation and expectation.
If you fail to take care of that seed that’s been planted, you may miscarry. You may even decide it’s not what you wanted after and and abort. Neither of these were ever a part of the plan. God intends for every seed He plants to grow and bear fruit.
Let’s say you make it through the pregnancy. Before you know it, it’s time to give birth. What was a joyous time of wonder and awe has now become the daunting idea of labour and delivery. All this time you know that what’s been growing on the inside of you is a wonderful gift from God. This amazing, miraculous thing was created because the time was right, the groom wooed you and you responded. You were intimate. But now you’re scared because it’s starting to get a little bit uncomfortable. There’s a bit of pain. And, as things progress, the discomfort gets worse. You wonder if you’re able to bear it.
“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:58 ESV) Here is where many Christians lose it. They can’t stand the pain. There are no drugs to ease the discomfort. They back down and never give birth to the life that God began within them. It’s too hard. It’s too uncomfortable. The promise never comes to fruition because they trusted God only enough to be wooed and romanced by Him, but not enough to get through the difficulty of the labour. They walk away fully believing that God was unfaithful when, in reality, they were the cheaters. They were the unfaithful. They left God standing in the delivery room waiting for a promise that will never be fulfilled because they couldn’t trust Him enough to believe He’d really come through on His word to never leave. Hebrews 13:5 says, “…for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you norgive you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]“.
I’ve said all that to say this: God does not subscribe to the North American ideas on marriage. He does things right. In order to conceive, you must be His bride (John 14:6 “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”). God will chase after you like a husband after a wife. He will never be unfaithful. (Psalm 146:6 “… he remains faithful forever.”) If you are truly intimate with God, He will plant a vision in your heart and cause it to grow, but you must also be faithful to nuture it. And lastly, if you want to see that vision come to fruition, you may have to experience some labour pains. Things might get uncomfortable. It might hurt for a while. But, in the end, when that vision is finally birthed and brought into reality, the hardship you went through to get to that point will fade away in the light of the glory of God.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Opposites Are Attracted To Me
I had two very different Plenty of Fish experiences in as many days.
The first was yesterday. I may or may not have been online while at work and suddenly a message pops up on Plenty of Fish. Someone wanted to chat with me! Usually I click "decline" simply because of past experiences. This time, I clicked "accept". It turned out to be alrigh. Not that I'd ever date this guy or anything, but he was a nice Indian guy who seemed floored that I adore Indian movies as much as he does. He spent the better part of a half an hour trying to convince me to go see a movie with him next weekend. Just so happens, I've been thinking about going to see the movie over Christmas break. As a white chick, it's pretty difficult to find movie dates when the movie you want to see is in Hindi with English subtitles.
I was impressed that this guy just chatted with me for the afternoon. No disgusting suggestions or off-colour comments, just questions and answers. Refreshing, really.
The second experience just goes to show that a girl can't keep her hopes up. Another instant message box popped up today. "Hey, wanna hump?" I'm still baffled that some people think that this is an appropriate introduction to a conversation. No, thank you, I don't want to hump. Close. Delete. Block.
The first was yesterday. I may or may not have been online while at work and suddenly a message pops up on Plenty of Fish. Someone wanted to chat with me! Usually I click "decline" simply because of past experiences. This time, I clicked "accept". It turned out to be alrigh. Not that I'd ever date this guy or anything, but he was a nice Indian guy who seemed floored that I adore Indian movies as much as he does. He spent the better part of a half an hour trying to convince me to go see a movie with him next weekend. Just so happens, I've been thinking about going to see the movie over Christmas break. As a white chick, it's pretty difficult to find movie dates when the movie you want to see is in Hindi with English subtitles.
I was impressed that this guy just chatted with me for the afternoon. No disgusting suggestions or off-colour comments, just questions and answers. Refreshing, really.
The second experience just goes to show that a girl can't keep her hopes up. Another instant message box popped up today. "Hey, wanna hump?" I'm still baffled that some people think that this is an appropriate introduction to a conversation. No, thank you, I don't want to hump. Close. Delete. Block.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
"I think so, Brain, but what if the hippopotamus won't wear the beach thong?"
If you see a dude in a hot pink satin shirt, sitting beside a pink purse and holding a camera in a pink case, what would you think? Seriously. True story.
If you see a dude in a hot pink satin shirt, sitting beside a pink purse and holding a camera in a pink case, what would you think? Seriously. True story.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Shahid Kapoor Changed My Life
Ask anyone who's been anywhere near me since September of this year and they'll most likely tell you that there's something different about me. I blame Shahid Kapoor. This is Shahid:
One day on my fall break from school I decided to watch a movie. I began perusing Netflix and somehow ended up in the Bollywood section (don't even ask, I haven't figured it out myself). That was the day my life changed. By chance, I chose a movie starring none other than Mr. Shahid Kapoor (voted Asia's #2 sexiest man second to Hrithik Roshan). I loved the movie and was later disappointed to find out it hadn't done well in the theatres (it was a timing thing). Chance Pe Dance is what got the Bollywood ball rolling down a steep, slippery slope. When things go down, they tend to gain speed. Now, some three months later, I've nearly exhausted Netflix of all the Hindi-language films, picked over the Bollywood DVD selection at certain Wal-Marts and even convinced both my mom and my best friend to see Shahid's latest flick (Mausam) in the theatre (on separate days - I didn't mind seeing it twice). I find myself looking for sub-titles even when I'm watching English movies and I often forget that I can't actually speak Hindi nor am I brown.
What does this have to do with being a virgin? Nothing. But it has everything to do with men. Sort of. Here's the thing: I think North American men have forgotten how to be real men - just like North American women have forgotten how to be real women. Men here have to be all strong and tough. It's not okay to show emotion. Real men don't cry. I don't think I've seen a Bollywood film in which the hero didn't cry. But these are still manly men. Hollywood has nothing to offer compared to the likes of Shahid Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan, John Abraham and so many others.
I watch these movies wondering why men can't be like that in real life (yes, yes, I know they're just movies). It seems that there's still something left in the Indian culture that the Western world has swept under the rug. How often are men here applauded for their tears? Honestly (unless the guy is a complete wuss), I think tears are sexy. They show that we're still human. They show that we feel. I'm beginning to see that, as we spend more and more time away from real life (sitting in front of a screen of any sort is not considered real life), the less we feel real things. Real emotions come from reality, not reality tv shows. We've placed ourselves in the lives of other people rather than living life for ourselves. We are no longer real people.
So here I am. I think I'm real... most of the time anyway. But finding real people to surround myself with is becoming increasingly more difficult. I want to spend my time with people who have real lives, real feelings, real emotions and who aren't afraid to show it. When did it become manly or womanly to bottle everything up inside? Looking around I can't say that it's been good for society as a whole. I'm looking for a man who can learn a few things from these Bollywood hunks. Be a man. Cry a little every once in a while.
What does this have to do with being a virgin? Nothing. But it has everything to do with men. Sort of. Here's the thing: I think North American men have forgotten how to be real men - just like North American women have forgotten how to be real women. Men here have to be all strong and tough. It's not okay to show emotion. Real men don't cry. I don't think I've seen a Bollywood film in which the hero didn't cry. But these are still manly men. Hollywood has nothing to offer compared to the likes of Shahid Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan, John Abraham and so many others.
I watch these movies wondering why men can't be like that in real life (yes, yes, I know they're just movies). It seems that there's still something left in the Indian culture that the Western world has swept under the rug. How often are men here applauded for their tears? Honestly (unless the guy is a complete wuss), I think tears are sexy. They show that we're still human. They show that we feel. I'm beginning to see that, as we spend more and more time away from real life (sitting in front of a screen of any sort is not considered real life), the less we feel real things. Real emotions come from reality, not reality tv shows. We've placed ourselves in the lives of other people rather than living life for ourselves. We are no longer real people.
So here I am. I think I'm real... most of the time anyway. But finding real people to surround myself with is becoming increasingly more difficult. I want to spend my time with people who have real lives, real feelings, real emotions and who aren't afraid to show it. When did it become manly or womanly to bottle everything up inside? Looking around I can't say that it's been good for society as a whole. I'm looking for a man who can learn a few things from these Bollywood hunks. Be a man. Cry a little every once in a while.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Clearing the Air
It seems to me that there are some serious misconceptions about who and what a Christian woman is. I'd like to make some clarifications.
Myth 1: A Christian woman belongs in the home, not in the workforce.
Truth: According to Proverbs 31:16, "She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard." That doesn't sound like a housewife to me.
Myth 2: A Christian woman shouldn't/can't do manual labour. That's a man's job.
Truth: Yes, a man should work (this is also a biblical principle), but a woman can, too. "She is energetic and strong, a hard worker." (Proverbs 31:17)
Myth 3: A Christian woman should seen and not heard.
Truth: "When she speaks, her words are wise." (Proverbs 31:26)
Myth 4: A Christian woman should just go about her work. It's her job, she doesn't need to be thanked for it.
Truth: "Reward her for all she has done." (Proverbs 31:31)
Myth 5: A Christian woman should be meek and mild.
Truth: In Ruth 3, Naomi instructs her daughter-in-law on how to win over Boaz. It's not a meek and mild woman that would go to a man and risk defaming not only herself, but him as well. Both women acted out of boldness.
Myth 6: Christian women are prudes.
Truth: Just because some of us have made the choice to abstain from sex until marriage doesn't mean we aren't human. Horomones rage no matter what choice you've made. It's our response to those urges that makes us different. "I am my lover's, the one he desires. Come, my love, let us go out into the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers... And there I will give you my love." (Song of Songs 7:10-12) That doesn't sound like a prude to me. However, Song of Songs also says in 8:4, "I want you to promise, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right."
I know that there are a lot more ideas out there of what a Christian woman should be. Just because people think we should be a certain way doesn't mean we are. Don't be surprised when we aren't.
Myth 1: A Christian woman belongs in the home, not in the workforce.
Truth: According to Proverbs 31:16, "She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard." That doesn't sound like a housewife to me.
Myth 2: A Christian woman shouldn't/can't do manual labour. That's a man's job.
Truth: Yes, a man should work (this is also a biblical principle), but a woman can, too. "She is energetic and strong, a hard worker." (Proverbs 31:17)
Myth 3: A Christian woman should seen and not heard.
Truth: "When she speaks, her words are wise." (Proverbs 31:26)
Myth 4: A Christian woman should just go about her work. It's her job, she doesn't need to be thanked for it.
Truth: "Reward her for all she has done." (Proverbs 31:31)
Myth 5: A Christian woman should be meek and mild.
Truth: In Ruth 3, Naomi instructs her daughter-in-law on how to win over Boaz. It's not a meek and mild woman that would go to a man and risk defaming not only herself, but him as well. Both women acted out of boldness.
Myth 6: Christian women are prudes.
Truth: Just because some of us have made the choice to abstain from sex until marriage doesn't mean we aren't human. Horomones rage no matter what choice you've made. It's our response to those urges that makes us different. "I am my lover's, the one he desires. Come, my love, let us go out into the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers... And there I will give you my love." (Song of Songs 7:10-12) That doesn't sound like a prude to me. However, Song of Songs also says in 8:4, "I want you to promise, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right."
I know that there are a lot more ideas out there of what a Christian woman should be. Just because people think we should be a certain way doesn't mean we are. Don't be surprised when we aren't.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Keepin' it going.
Thanks to my little sister, I managed to get a shout out on the Vancouver Sun and it seems my readership has suddenly increased - as have the comments. I admit that I was pretty discouraged after reading a particular comment and even got to wondering if I should even continue on with this blog, but thanks to a whole bunch of really encouraging comments, there's no way I'm giving up that easily.
The intent of this blog was never to try to impart deep spiritual truths about maintaining purity in the world I live in, but rather to offer a humerous take on life, love and online dating.
The intent of this blog was never to try to impart deep spiritual truths about maintaining purity in the world I live in, but rather to offer a humerous take on life, love and online dating.
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