Opposites Are Attracted To Me

I had two very different Plenty of Fish experiences in as many days.

The first was yesterday. I may or may not have been online while at work and suddenly a message pops up on Plenty of Fish. Someone wanted to chat with me! Usually I click "decline" simply because of past experiences. This time, I clicked "accept". It turned out to be alrigh. Not that I'd ever date this guy or anything, but he was a nice Indian guy who seemed floored that I adore Indian movies as much as he does. He spent the better part of a half an hour trying to convince me to go see a movie with him next weekend. Just so happens, I've been thinking about going to see the movie over Christmas break. As a white chick, it's pretty difficult to find movie dates when the movie you want to see is in Hindi with English subtitles.

I was impressed that this guy just chatted with me for the afternoon. No disgusting suggestions or off-colour comments, just questions and answers. Refreshing, really.

The second experience just goes to show that a girl can't keep her hopes up. Another instant message box popped up today. "Hey, wanna hump?" I'm still baffled that some people think that this is an appropriate introduction to a conversation. No, thank you, I don't want to hump. Close. Delete. Block.

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

"I think so, Brain, but what if the hippopotamus won't wear the beach thong?"

If you see a dude in a hot pink satin shirt, sitting beside a pink purse and holding a camera in a pink case, what would you think? Seriously. True story.

I really didn't need to know that...

A couple of weeks ago my phone bleeped with a new email. I had a new message from Plenty of Fish! I got to the nearest computer to see what sort of winner found my profile...

"I just farted really loud and HAD to tell someone."

So glad you thought of me. Thanks.

A Little Clarification

It seems that I have more readers than I thought (this is based on the number of comments I've recently received) and they are as opinionated as I am! I'm all for sharing opinions as long as it stays nice and doesn't get nasty. For readers new to LMV, I feel I should clarify a few things:

Just because I have a Plenty of Fish profile does not mean I expect to meet that special someone on Plenty of Fish. The fact that I've even come across a few seemingly decent men is an absolute surprise to me. I'd rather meet a good man the old-fashioned way - at church.

I realise I have a different set of standards than most people. I strongly believe that Christians are called to something higher than the rest of the world. I abstain as much as possible from certain things (I don't drink - ever, I don't do drugs, as the title of this blog would imply, I'm a virgin, I don't smoke, I don't swear). These are all things I find unbecoming to Christians. We will never win the world if we act exactly like the world. God called us to be set apart - I intend to live that life.

Despite these strong opinions, I'm not a prude. I like to have fun as much as the next person, but fun doesn't have to include alcohol, clubs or bars. I like going to pubs (their food is just so good!) on occasion, but I don't make a habit of it.

I don't think it's too much to ask that a man live up to these standards. I've met them. They do exist. So, rather than lower my standards, I'll keep waiting (just like I have been for 28 years).

Response to a Reader

I recently received the following comment on my post "Apparent Christianity" from an anonymous reader:

I listed myself as a Christian on my POF profile. I am a Christian, I believe in God and I accept Jesus as the son of God yes. But I don't live an incredibly Christian lifestyle Jordan. I am not a virgin, I support Gay rights, I am pro choice. I don't think it is fair of you to judge some one who says they are Christian vs. their hobbies and interests....

Love from, Successful POF User

To Successful POF User:

First of all, this blog is entirely my own opinion. I understand that many of my views are considered old-fashioned and, in many cases, socially unacceptable. While I don't live a perfect life, by giving myself a label of "Christian", I try to live a life worthy of the name and the call God has placed on my life. To be a Christian is to be Christ-like - promoting what He promotes and avoiding what He avoids. To live a life according to biblical principles is to live a life of abstinence before marriage, to promote life (at all stages - from conception to death) and to promote the sanctity of marriage (and romantic relationships).

Let's also remember that my "judgement" of these men is based entirely upon whether or not I think they are marriageable material - for me, no one else. I will not marry a man who spends his weekends drinking at the pub. I will not marry a man who thinks it's okay for two men or two women to marry. I will not marry a man who believes it is a woman's choice whether or not to kill her unborn child. These are standards I've set for myself and I do not expect that everyone will conform to them.

It is my opinion that, if someone gives them self the label of "Christian" that they should do everything in their power (with the help of God) to live a life worthy of that call. The world is lost because too many Christians are themselves lost. If a Christian is no different from the world, what is there to draw the unbelievers to the knowledge of Christ?

Lost the Catch

I thought I had a good one on my line when a gentleman sent me a message last week. He could write and spell and even appeared to have read my profile. I responded (not right away - didn't want to appear too eager), but he hasn't written back.

But that's okay, someone who is "looking for a woman with class" but posts photos of himself with skanks wants to meet me...

Finding Hope

I'm still not holding my breath about finding the love of my life on Plenty of Fish, but, every once in a while, someone stands out. The most recent man to rise above doesn't claim to be a Christian and we are in no way compatible, but I got the following message from him:

I truly truly truly wish you the best. Even though I am not a Christian when I see girls with a solid relationship with God ,my hearts gets warmer a bit.

I am impressed on several levels. First - that he took the time to read my profile rather than just clicking "Meet Me" because he happened to like my smile. Second - that he respects the life I've chosen for myself. But then I ask, why can't Christian guys be like that? 

Apparent Christianity

Here's what the average Christian man on Plenty of Fish looks like:

- social drinker
- local pub regular
- womanizer
- Sunday morning sleeper
- potty mouth
- looking for casual dates or "friends"
- wine/beer enthusiast

Call me old-fashioned, but this doesn't look like a decent Christian man to me.

True story: I just read in a list of interests "18a cartoons" and "boobs LOL" from a guy claiming to be a Christian. If I was worried about finding a good man before... I think someone just flushed the toilet containing my last hope.

Hey, ur cute! Oh... That's NOT u?

Pet peeve of the week: main photos that clearly contain 3 or more people.

Plenty of Fish encourages all users to put a head shot as their main photo. In fact, you can report someone if they chose not to abide by this request. Sadly, many people do ignore this. It's not that you can't see a person's face, but it's that there are five or six other faces in the photo. You think you're communicating with the cute on the left, but he's really the dog in the middle.

So rather than misleading numerous women (and possibly men) by providing too many faces to choose from, buck up and put your own face on - and only your own face!

*Shaking Head in Amazement*

This guy wants to "meet" me:

	sweet guy looking for something lagit    Vansterdam, British Columbia
	come on don't be timid send me a message after reading :)hello ladys of pof i am here looking to meet the right woman and please don't let my pics give you the wrong impression

I'm looking for something "lagit", too. Only when I'm looking for something real, I try to spell it right.

Did I Miss Something?

Plenty of Fish is a dating site, isn't it? Lately I've begun to question the truth of that.

A couple of weeks ago I got a message from someone that had absolutely nothing to do with dating. The length of said message was surprising as was the fact that it didn't open with "hey ur cute".

TC messaged me with one purpose: to challenge my faith.

I have yet to discover the reason why he commenced communication with me and have even asked outright. At first I played his game. He sent me a list of links to videos and articles, some of which I checked out. I sent him a list of links to videos, all of which he tried to discount for one reason or another.

It seems to me that TC is looking for some answers and, since he can't seem to find them where he's looking, he's taken to challenging those who have found answers for themselves. I know who and what I am and I know who and what I believe in. No one can shake that. TC wanted me to prove my God to him. I can't do that. Only God can prove Himself. TC told me to ask God to reveal Himself to him (I did) and then I told TC to ask God himself. It is not my job to prove anything. God is more than able to do that. But I take offense at those who seek to mock Him and my faith in Him. And to use a dating site to accomplish this?

Like I said, I think I missed something here.

Dirty Filthy Pervert - Part 2

You're So Vain. You Probably Think This Blog is About You.

This fisher woman discovered something this week. When people say a picture is worth a thousand words, it's really true. Since rejoining the pond, I've had this photo posted as my profile picture. I've had a few bites, but not many and, honestly, I haven't really cared.

This is what my friends lovingly refer to as "The Facebook Face". The type of photo people put up on Facebook because they think it makes them look good. I use it because it amuses me, not because I think I'm sexy.


On a whim, I decided to put up a different photo. This one seems to attract a lot more attention. My blackberry has been a-buzz with notifications from Plenty of Fish.  "You have received an new message from..." and "So and so wants to meet you!"

Until now, I didn't really think it mattered all that much. Apparently it does. The part that really gets me is that I never really even liked this picture all that much. I was hot and sweaty when it was taken and I can't even remember what the heck I was laughing at (someone asked me that today). My nose is all scrunchy and one eye is half closed. At least my teeth are straight (thanks for paying for the braces, Mom).

I never claim to understand men, and probably never will. At least for now, it seems that there are a few more fish in the pond who are taking the bait.

Off Again, On Again

I'm not usually the stop and start kind of gal, but in this case, it happened and I'll try not to let it happen again. After taking a break from all things online dating, I tried real dating. Sort of. Long distance is better than cyberspace, isn't it? Things went well, he knows how to treat a lady, but in the end, we were running two very different races.

So...  I jumped back in the pond. Not that I'm expecting a catch or anything. I do it more to amuse myself. I've been gone a while and some changes have been made to the site during that time, not all of them good. I will not discuss them now, but rest assured that I will address those issues in a later post.

My grievance this night is that of the options available when stating ones religion. I have "Christian-Other" marked off. Some people have "Catholic" others "Sikh". That's alright with me. Here in Canada, we are granted the freedom of religion through our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. But one option that keeps popping up over and over is "Other Religion".

Now, before you go off saying how many faiths there are, let me explain that I thought the list of options to be quite exhaustive. Most people just use "Not Religious" and be done with it. I don't get this "Other Religion" thing. What other religion? What sort of far out, wacky religion do these people belong to?

Here's my opinion: the people who fall under the category of "Other Religion" do not, in fact, belong to a religion at all, but they are merely so self-centred, self-serving that they worship only themselves. Of course, self-worship is not listed as an option, so "Other Religion" is the only viable option. Now if only these men would clarify this in their profiles, it would save a lot of women a lot of trouble and heartache.

You had me at Diet Coke

So, like, remember that post I wrote about that guy.  You know, that guy from Plenty of Fish?  Not Mr Male Model, no.  Not Baby Bowler.  Not Mr Therapy, but the other one.  Ev83.  Yeah, that's him...

I went back to check on his profile to verify some facts.  He's deleted it.  That's okay.  I'll have words with him about it later.  Perhaps after he's read this post.  (Ev, if you're reading this, I have some words for you.)

A PoF guy reads your post? you ask.  Yup.  But he was an eHarmony guy before he was a Plenty of Fish guy.  And I was an eHarmony girl long before I was a Plenty of Fish girl.  And I know he'll get around to reading this.  I guess he's as amused by my experiences as I am.

Ev and I were matched on eHarmony more than a year ago.  I probably wouldn't have contacted him at all if it weren't for his mention of two very specific things: Saskatchewan Roughriders and Diet Coke. We hit it off right away and I was delighted to find a match for my impressive wit and brilliant humour.  By April 1, we were ready to play the mother of all practical jokes.

I've never been one to really participate in April Fool's pranks, but Ev got me started and I offered to help him.  His plan was to create a fake engagement and post it all over Facebook.  This got my gears working and I offered to add some "realism" to his plot and he agreed to let me help.  At midnight, we made quick work of changing our status, pictures and profiles.  It wasn't long before congratulations came streaming in.  The photo of my hand adorned with a big, beautiful rock made it that much better.  I still have a congratulation card pinned to the bulletin board above my desk.  Sigh... that was a great day.  By the end of it we'd broken off the engagement with a two hour argument that will be forever known as epic.

Since then, we've remained good friends.  I made the trip out to see him and he to see me.  Conversation has never been found lacking and our computers aren't fast enough for all the music we try to trade.  The subject of dating hasn't really ever come up...  until lately.

I don't know what Ev's family and friends say about me, but mine tell me I should give the guy a chance.  So, when he finally got past his chicken-ness to ask me out last week, I said yes.  Of course, now we're left waiting until he can take a long weekend from work and can get here to take me out.  I get to pick what we do as long as they include a couple of his preferences.  I pick, he brings his wallet....  Mwahahahaha!

So Ev, here's your chance.  Don't screw it up.  Our last fight was just so draining, I don't know if I can do it all over again.  And if friends is all we're ever meant to be, friends we'll be.  From the start, it's been wild - don't let me down (Hmm... maybe I should listen to that song...).

What does "missionary" mean... to you?

Way back when I was much, much younger than I am now, I had the opportunity to spend some time at Wanaskewin Heritage Park in Saskatchewan.  Back in the day (and maybe still to this day) the tour started with a lighted, narrated diorama that guided the viewer through the history of the site as well as the history of the Cree Nation of the area.  I had the pleasure, nay, the joy of seeing this demonstration, not once, but twice!  Yes, twice!  While many took that time in the dark theatre to catch up on much needed rest, I watched in anticipation wondering what waxy sculpture would be shone upon next.

Over the years, much of the content of the presentation has been lost amidst many other useless facts in the back of my mind, but there are a few words that come back to haunt me over and over... and over and over...  (whispered in a creepy voice) "What does Wanaskewin mean (insert pause here for effect) to you?"  (Google that if you're really curious.)

Now I imagine that you've become curious and are wondering about the reasoning behind my little bit of culture.

I was recently reminded of that haunting little phrase and found the way of questioning relevant.  Not that Plenty of Fish and Wanaskewin have anything to do with each other even in the smallest sense, but it's all in the title.

I wonder what "missionary" means to most people.  In the traditional sense, I see missionary and think prim and proper and often frumpy (when it comes to women).  So, this afternoon I was yet again surprised (though by now I don't believe I ought to be) when pro_man decided to send me an instant message.  After an initial greeting, out of the blue, he says, "I'm a virgin."  Good for you.  "looking to loose it."  Wow.  Thanks for sharing.  My response, "Good luck with that.  I can't help you."  His response, "thanks anyways" (?!?).  Thanks for what?  For refusing to drop my pants at a "pick-up line" (if you can even call it that) that the guy doesn't even have the decency to disguise behind something witty or sexy.

And... wait for it... my now official PoF mantra:  Dirty, Filthy Pervert!

Good golly, it's Marlon Brando back from the dead!

Now, most people know Marlon Brando from The Godfather.  Never having seen any of the Godfather movies, my memories of the brilliant actor come from a different genre of film entirely.  I will take no arguments from anyone when I say that his best film was Guys and Dolls.  In fact, there are many Brando fans who skip this film entirely.  Brando with Sinatra in a musical?  He's lost his manhood!  Ack!  Never!  It takes a man's man to remain manly in a movie rife with song and dance.

Why the sudden Brando rant, you ask?  Well, my #1 match of the morning could be mistaken as a close relation.  The cigar tucked into his headgear is reminiscent of Sky Masterson.

Ah, Marlon in a three-piece, wing-tips and fedora.  If I could have any man, that's who he'd be.  Who cares if he runs a crap game in the sewers?  Any man who takes a girl to a Havana cantina on a first date gets a thumbs up from yours truly.  He married a goody two-shoes Salvation Army officer, didn't he?  I am the 21st century version of Sergeant Sarah Brown.

If only 2sweet99 were Marlon (a.k.a. Sky Masterson). I'd have already been swept off my feet.

I'm looking for someone sweet, not a sugar daddy.

In what universe would I ever be interested in a 58 year-old divorced Jew with kids over the age of 18?  (Not that I have anything in general against 58 year-olds, divorcees, Jews or kids over the age of 18 - I am, after all, a kid over the age of 18.)  I'm just not looking for those qualities in a future mate.

Mr Old-Enough-To-Be-My-Father is apparently a film producer (imdb.com has his last film listed for 2003 - so I assume that he's an out of work film producer or has only made movies so bad they failed to be credited).  He's also a "bissness" man.  Everything a woman could want & then some! (His words, not mine.)

**shudder**  Wait...  **shudder**

I fail to recall entering "looking for a golf buddy for my father" in my profile.  Perhaps I should double-check.  I would have assumed that this guy was woefully mislead if it weren't for the fact that he himself stated in his profile that he is looking for a woman under 30.

Wait for it... **shudder**

He brags about owning a house not only in L.A., but also one in San Diego (both locations spelled incorrectly).  I couldn't care less that he owns a couple of houses in California.  He's only in my area for six months.  Makes me wonder what he's actually looking for.

I admit that I'm a pretty sweet girl, but I'm not the arm candy kind.  I'd like to consider myself more of a nice, big mug of rich hot chocolate topped with a million mini marshmallows.

Looks like this guy was mis-informed as to the location of the Playboy mansion.

Finally! Someone with some brains!

Ev83 found me this weekend.  And, man, am I glad he did!  Ooh boy, this guy's got it ALL going for himself.

Ev83 has a thing for monster truck rallies and collects hot dog wrappers from all his favourite arenas in addition to photos of himself dwarfed by giagantic tires.  And is *THIS* close to filling his second scrapbook.

Ev83 is nearly fluent in Klingon (sigh) and wishes to wed in a traditional Klingon ceremony.  How sexy is that?

And most attractive of all, Ev83 wants to spend his honeymoon in Cotswolds, England to participate in their annual cheese rolling race.

Could a man be any more perfect for me?

Baby Bowler

I always find it a little strange when I get a message from someone whose profile I've browsed and then proceeded to ignore.  This makes me wonder if I should be blocking more people than I already have.

Baby Bowler* sent me a message the other day.  Upon viewing his profile, I distinctly recall discussing with a co-worker his passion for bowling.  I'd seen it before.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy bowling as much as the next person, but no so much as to make a point to mention it in my profile more than once (if at all).  I came, I saw, I moved on (without sending any communication).

This guy had enough sense to post a picture, however, it strangely reminds me of one of my nephews circa age 1 1/2 wearing grandpa's giant sunglasses.  Some guys with baby faces are still cute in a grown up sort of way.  I'm not looking for cute in a want to pinch your cheeks sort of way.  May I suggest, Mr Baby Bowler than you find a more flattering picture, one that makes you look at least half your age?

*name changed to protect the innocent