So it's been a while since I've posted. I've been busy with school, homework and procrastination - which is exactly what I'm doing right now. I should be doing homework, but I just got a phone call from my mom who was talking to a friend of hers who had seen this article is on the front page of the Vancouver Sun website today. It was followed by this article.
On one side, we see a few godly women standing up for what they believe in and encouraging godly men to do the same (if any guys are reading this check out this video). And on the other side we see an entire generation who have no idea what it means to have a real relationship with someone.
I'm still here. Waiting. I have to keep reminding myself that God will bring around the right guy at the right time, but sometimes I get to wondering if that right guy is in the right place and if he's not, will he ever find me. And then I wonder if I'm even in the right place. So many questions and so few real answers. It becomes difficult for a girl like me to even talk to anyone because, let's face it, if a 28 year old girl says, "oh, by the way, I'm a virgin..." the best response is usually a blank stare. People don't know how to respond anymore. In a culture so inundated with sex, purity has been all but lost - even in the church.
There are so many things that have begun to burn in my spirit and this is one of them, but they all tie together. My biggest beef right now - why do Christians have to be the tolerant ones? Why is it that every other race, religion and culture can speak out and be proud, but as soon as a Christian stands up, they become a bigot? All I have to say is watch out, world, here I come. If I'm not getting the notice, at least someone is. It's time that more people like Amy, Tamara, Lisa and Danielle stand up for what they believe in and refuse to back down.
I was drawn to this blog out of curiosity, via the aforementioned Vancouver Sun article. After having read 3-4 pages of your self-righteous banter (after which I could take no more), it's quite easy to see why you're still single:
ReplyDelete1. You have a very high opinion of yourself and repeatedly attempt to point out how superior you are to others. While confidence and self-respect are important qualities, they must be paired with a dash of humility. You, on the other hand, are full of pride and vainglory.
2. You use this blog to judge, criticize, mock and humiliate others -- some of whom you haven't even had the courtesy to meet in person. Such behaviour is decidedly un-Christian.
3. Your belief in Christian superiority is both bigoted and misinformed. Christianity preaches tolerance, not disdain. I quote, "I strongly believe that Christians are called to something higher than the rest of the world [...] We will never win the world if we act exactly like the world. God called us to be set apart - I intend to live that life." Disgusting.
I could go on, but I really don't feel like reading anymore of this self-righteous drivel in order to point out your multitude of hypocrisies. Perhaps, though, instead of blaming others for your dating troubles, you should take a good long look inward, at how your own personality, beliefs and behaviours might be driving others away.
To the previous commenter.
ReplyDeleteAbout your #3 statement - I believe YOUR idea of Christianity is misinformed. Christianity does NOT preach tolerance. Christianity sets a standard of which all of us, including Christian, fall short of. But we strive to live that life. Jesus very clearly states what is right and what is wrong. He preaches love, absolutely. We, as Christians, accept PEOPLE. We do not tolerate sin.
About your 2nd statement. She uses this blog, in my opinion, to tell her story. That's all. We all have stories to tell. I've read many blogs that are highly offending to Christians. But I take it in stride, because it's a blog. It's an opinion.
Perhaps you, anonymous, should educate yourself on what is actually taught in the Bible before commenting on what is in fact, a true Biblical statement.
Indeed, you are sharing your story; there is great power and beauty in our stories; it's not about being right or wrong, it is simply about sharing. Be encouraged and THANK YOU for sharing your story. We are SO glad we came across YOUR blog; you will have to come over some time and we can all swap stories! Be blessed! Tamara and the girls...
ReplyDelete1. I can count, too. yeehaw!
ReplyDelete2. You seem like a beautiful person. There is a guy out there who is going to pinch himself over and over again when he meets you because he's going to count himself so blessed.
3. Remember who the accuser of the brethren is and never listen to his drivel.
Praise God for a woman who loves God and herself enough to save her heart for a man who deserves it.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! It blesses my heart to see someone standing firm for their convictions! Never mind the negative comments. Satan seeks whom he may devour. You keep on keeping on! God is well pleased with you saving yourself for your Beloved! My Daughter was 20 when she married her Husband of 26 & they were BOTH virgins! My youngest is 17 & she is "talking" to a guy who is 23 & they are BOTH still virgins-waiting for their wedding night. You are not alone in your beliefs. AND you have every right to be proud of it!! God bless!! :>
ReplyDeleteYou are a breath of fresh air! The haters are angry that, while you can always become like them, they can never be like you! Holiness & pureness are lost adjectives in this world today. So glad you are seeking to revive the terms! BTW, I was a virgin when I married my hubby & took heat for it (over 30 yrs ago) but never been sorry (& have had a great sex life!)Hang in there- your prince will show at the right time.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, allow me to commend you for the stand you've taken. Your virginity is a gift to the man you marry. Many men (perhaps like the first commenter above) seem to have double standards - they want the sex without the marriage, but when it comes time to take a wife, they want her to be a virgin. I'm glad you are holding out for the one who will honor and respect you, the one who has also honored and respected himself for you.
ReplyDeleteDon't let that first comment get to you. You are God's own and His thoughts about you are the only ones that count.
Great blog, I've very much enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could think of something profound & witty to say, but all I can say is that I wish I would have had the guts to do what you're doing. My husband held out for me, but I cast my pearls before the swine and paid the price. The biggest regret in my life is not saving myself for my husband. Hold on to what you have and don't ever let ANYONE tell you you're being foolish for doing so.
ReplyDelete-From someone who didn't wait.
I just wanted to share a comment from another perspective. As I sit here reading this, I'm broken. I wish that I could have made the choice you are making every day.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'm a Christian now and I truly strive to show Christ in everything that I do I wasn't always this way. I didn't believe in myself and I didn't think I was "worth it." I gave my heart away and my husband did the same... not to each other. We have a pure and righteous relationship and I know that our hearts has been healed because of Jesus Christ but we will never be able to tell our children that we saved ourselves.
We both made multiple bad choices even though we were both exposed to and involved in the church as teens because of the pressures of our society and our own lack of self discipline. Praise God neither one of us has any diseases. My husband was completely distanced from the church and I just faked my way through it full of guilt and unworthiness.
How I pray that my sons and daughters will know how much their daddy and I love them and how much their Father in heaven loves them and that they will live a lifestyle that shows how much they believe in themselves. I pray that they will know that their bodies are temples and should be treated as such. I pray that they would seek out a husband or wife who will do the same and will love them for it. I pray that they make it through the pressures of teen years and more-so the pressures of young adulthood. I pray that they will have confidence in their relationship with Christ and know that His desire is for them.
Thank you for setting an example and for being proud of it. I wish that I could say the same but I still sometimes sit in the guilt because I've hidden the fact that I didn't save myself. My husband knows but most others don't, not even my own family. Maybe they assume that I didn't but my family is "hush hush" about anything that's not wide out in the open.
I still go to church with others who believe that I saved myself for my husband because I haven't shared otherwise. I'm ashamed of the testimony that I should be sharing for others to not have to go through the same pain and shame.
Please keep sharing your story and encouraging young girls to stay virgins till marriage.
I would like to encourage the woman who shared her pain and guilt over the decisions she made as a young woman. Be assured of this: there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. You are so precious in God's eyes, regardless of your past. When you come to Him, He forgives and your past is gone forever. Don't let what happened THEN affect your NOW. Let the decisions you make NOW create an awesome LATER. You have a beautiful testimony and there are women out there who need to hear your story - a story that only you can tell.
ReplyDeletePerhaps my tone was a bit harsh, and for that, I apologize, but my message remains the same:
ReplyDeleteI have not in any way criticized you for your decision to remain a virgin, nor for your devotion to Christianity and to Christ. These are your choices to make, and they are not mine - or anyone else's - to judge. In fact, I have a lot of respect for your level of commitment.
Likewise, everyone else's religion and lifestyle choices (insofar as they don't harm others) are theirs to make, and you have no right to judge them either.
What is off-putting here is your (literal) holier-than-thou attitude, and the way you judge and publicly deride others who follow different religions or make different lifestyle decisions than you do. Especially since you use this blog as a vehicle for mockery and shaming - using real names of family friends (Kyle) or dating site usernames that could very easily be looked up. Hopefully your blog's recent publicity will not result in one of these poor men reading something awful you've written about them. I know that if I read negative words on a blog and recognized them to be about me, I would be very hurt.
Finally, the reality is, you are not perfect. Nobody is. There is no shortage of good, kind, moral men out there. But there is a lack of perfect men - they simply don't exist.
What I was trying to say in my original post is that you need to consider the possibility that it is in fact your attitude and approach that are preventing you from finding a man. I've never met you in person, but if you speak to others and treat others with the same contempt you display in this blog, I can see why it would be really difficult for a man to want to be with you.
And then I go back to my original comment: men like a woman with confidence and conviction, but this has to be tempered with a dash of humility.
(I wrote this once, and then my computer ate the response before I could post it, I wasn't going to bother trying again, but I just couldn't leave it with the last post by anonymous that I just read)
ReplyDeleteIt is impossible to read a person's tone. I'm not trying to be nasty with what I'm saying, but perhaps you are reading her blog with a bias that is effecting your interpretation.
I didn't read any of the "holier than thou" attitude that you seem to have seen. I thought the blog was very open and honest, and done in a witty and funny way.
I applaud you for being bold to share your walk through this with everyone. And I think that in our society today you do need to have some strong perimeters so that you (and people you could potentially be in a relationship with) might be able to stray from things you could regret. Furthermore, high standards bring along something fabulous later. If the bar is set low, believe me, you will get the bottom of the barrel. Many blessings to you as you continue in this journey.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous had it right. With that attitude she'll be a virgin until she dies. Which is just as well; it means a couple less kids who'll get indoctrinated with this particular brand of insanity.
ReplyDelete