Opposites Are Attracted To Me

I had two very different Plenty of Fish experiences in as many days.

The first was yesterday. I may or may not have been online while at work and suddenly a message pops up on Plenty of Fish. Someone wanted to chat with me! Usually I click "decline" simply because of past experiences. This time, I clicked "accept". It turned out to be alrigh. Not that I'd ever date this guy or anything, but he was a nice Indian guy who seemed floored that I adore Indian movies as much as he does. He spent the better part of a half an hour trying to convince me to go see a movie with him next weekend. Just so happens, I've been thinking about going to see the movie over Christmas break. As a white chick, it's pretty difficult to find movie dates when the movie you want to see is in Hindi with English subtitles.

I was impressed that this guy just chatted with me for the afternoon. No disgusting suggestions or off-colour comments, just questions and answers. Refreshing, really.

The second experience just goes to show that a girl can't keep her hopes up. Another instant message box popped up today. "Hey, wanna hump?" I'm still baffled that some people think that this is an appropriate introduction to a conversation. No, thank you, I don't want to hump. Close. Delete. Block.

I really didn't need to know that...

A couple of weeks ago my phone bleeped with a new email. I had a new message from Plenty of Fish! I got to the nearest computer to see what sort of winner found my profile...

"I just farted really loud and HAD to tell someone."

So glad you thought of me. Thanks.

Lost the Catch

I thought I had a good one on my line when a gentleman sent me a message last week. He could write and spell and even appeared to have read my profile. I responded (not right away - didn't want to appear too eager), but he hasn't written back.

But that's okay, someone who is "looking for a woman with class" but posts photos of himself with skanks wants to meet me...

Did I Miss Something?

Plenty of Fish is a dating site, isn't it? Lately I've begun to question the truth of that.

A couple of weeks ago I got a message from someone that had absolutely nothing to do with dating. The length of said message was surprising as was the fact that it didn't open with "hey ur cute".

TC messaged me with one purpose: to challenge my faith.

I have yet to discover the reason why he commenced communication with me and have even asked outright. At first I played his game. He sent me a list of links to videos and articles, some of which I checked out. I sent him a list of links to videos, all of which he tried to discount for one reason or another.

It seems to me that TC is looking for some answers and, since he can't seem to find them where he's looking, he's taken to challenging those who have found answers for themselves. I know who and what I am and I know who and what I believe in. No one can shake that. TC wanted me to prove my God to him. I can't do that. Only God can prove Himself. TC told me to ask God to reveal Himself to him (I did) and then I told TC to ask God himself. It is not my job to prove anything. God is more than able to do that. But I take offense at those who seek to mock Him and my faith in Him. And to use a dating site to accomplish this?

Like I said, I think I missed something here.

You're So Vain. You Probably Think This Blog is About You.

This fisher woman discovered something this week. When people say a picture is worth a thousand words, it's really true. Since rejoining the pond, I've had this photo posted as my profile picture. I've had a few bites, but not many and, honestly, I haven't really cared.

This is what my friends lovingly refer to as "The Facebook Face". The type of photo people put up on Facebook because they think it makes them look good. I use it because it amuses me, not because I think I'm sexy.


On a whim, I decided to put up a different photo. This one seems to attract a lot more attention. My blackberry has been a-buzz with notifications from Plenty of Fish.  "You have received an new message from..." and "So and so wants to meet you!"

Until now, I didn't really think it mattered all that much. Apparently it does. The part that really gets me is that I never really even liked this picture all that much. I was hot and sweaty when it was taken and I can't even remember what the heck I was laughing at (someone asked me that today). My nose is all scrunchy and one eye is half closed. At least my teeth are straight (thanks for paying for the braces, Mom).

I never claim to understand men, and probably never will. At least for now, it seems that there are a few more fish in the pond who are taking the bait.

Baby Bowler

I always find it a little strange when I get a message from someone whose profile I've browsed and then proceeded to ignore.  This makes me wonder if I should be blocking more people than I already have.

Baby Bowler* sent me a message the other day.  Upon viewing his profile, I distinctly recall discussing with a co-worker his passion for bowling.  I'd seen it before.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy bowling as much as the next person, but no so much as to make a point to mention it in my profile more than once (if at all).  I came, I saw, I moved on (without sending any communication).

This guy had enough sense to post a picture, however, it strangely reminds me of one of my nephews circa age 1 1/2 wearing grandpa's giant sunglasses.  Some guys with baby faces are still cute in a grown up sort of way.  I'm not looking for cute in a want to pinch your cheeks sort of way.  May I suggest, Mr Baby Bowler than you find a more flattering picture, one that makes you look at least half your age?

*name changed to protect the innocent

A Gentleman's Game

Gentlemen really do exist.  Well, at the very least, one does.  This is a good story with a not-so-happy ending.

The other day I was searching for blog fuel.  You know, the weird, wacky, creepy and just plain psycho people that can start a three paragraph rant on just about anything.  I found a few of those and did indeed blog.  But I also found a real winner.  And by winner I mean male model winner.  Not that he was my perfect match or anything, but, ooh baby!, break me off a piece of that!  I looked for any excuse to send him a message and it was he himself who actually presented it!  He mentioned something near the end of his profile about sending a message if a person had bothered to read that far.  Well then!  I sent a note commending him on a well-written and thought out profile.  It's not a literary masterpiece by any means, but it kept my attention and amused me.  I wasn't really expecting much out of this one if anything, but, hey, I've got nothing to lose, right?

I sent said note on Wednesday.  Most guys respond within a few hours if they're going to respond at all.  Thursday went by and nothing.  I wasn't heartbroken by it, so I kept perusing profiles.  Today my phone buzzed wildly at me with several communications.  Wasn't I surprised to see one from Mr Male Model himself!  So I ran to my computer and logged in and there was a little un-opened envelope waiting just for me!  I swear I shivered in delight.

Dear Jordan
Thank you so much for your kind message and I apologise for being so late in replying. I've just read your profile and I have to say you are a rare and remarkable woman....not to mention quite beautiful. Unfortunately I've just come out of a long relationship and I'm at the stage of my life where I'm done with casual dating. I don't want to waste your time since I don't think we're very compatible.
Warmest Regards.

First thing I noticed was how obviously thought-out this guy is (or he is at least making use of a passing grade in high school English).  Second was the British spelling - Americans use a "z" in apologise.  He must also be a genius if he can so easily recognise the fact that I am not only rare, but remarkable....not to mention quite beautiful.  Though we really aren't at all compatible, I appreciate him taking the time to write a little note rather than just leaving me high and dry.  Sigh... If only we were compatible!


But for now, I still have hopes that there is a decent man somewhere out there for me.  Thank you, Mr Male Model for once again proving that gentlemen exist!

I'd Rather Smoke A Joint

Every good Christian girl is looking for several things in a potential mate.  Is he a Christian?  Does he come from a good family?  Does he go to a decent church?  One question I'd never think to ask: would he rather smoke a joint?  Yeah, I'm as flabbergasted as you are.

Mr Zairois sent me quite the message this afternoon, "how are you doing Dear?" (I'm not your Dear.  Don't call me that.  But I'm flattered you'd think to capitalize it!)

When debating whether or not to respond to a communication, I check out the profile before I even read the message.  If I don't like what I see, I won't respond (but you'd better believe I'm going to blog about it later if I find it demeaning, amusing or downright absurd).

Zairois is 26 and stands no taller than I.  (I made an attempt today to try to explain to a friend why this is a problem with any man:  I, like any normal woman, love shoes.  Stilettos to be exact.  So, on any given day, while I stand only 5'5" barefoot, I clear 5'9" with my shoes on.  Been there, done that, would rather not tower over my man.  In my mind that's like an elf dating a hobbit.  I just can't picture it.)  He claims to be a Christian and his profession is "work" (good for you!).  Among his list of interests is wine, martinis, beer and pubs.  (I understand that the whole alcohol thing is a personal choice and everything, but I'm of the opinion that Christians shouldn't be the ones over-indulging, let alone advertising that's how they spend their free time.  But... I'll let it slide this time because, in the words of my brother, it just keeps gettin' gooder and gooder.)

Zairois is "Good man ,responsible, good listener,.....down to earth, Head on shoulders"  Glad to know he currently resides on planet earth and that his head is indeed on his shoulders (with most men, I'd say it's below the waist).

I like to spend my Sunday mornings at church.  Aside from the fact that I have numerous church-related commitments to fulfill on the Sabbath, even if I didn't, I think that church is a good habit for, well, anyone.  Zairois?  Not him.  He's got other plans for his holy day.

"One of my favourite things to do on a Sunday morning is to sit outside with a coffee and a joint!"

Yup, you read that right.  Coffee and a joint.  I wracked my brain trying to think of anything else the word "joint" could be referring to.  I drew a blank.  Asked some friends and still came up short (5'5" to be exact).  So, if you happen to know something I don't, please enlighten me, otherwise, Zairois is heading to my list of blocked users.

Coffee and a joint...

Not So Many Fish

There aren't as many fish in the sea as Plenty of Fish would like you to believe.  At least none that are biting.  I've learned that if I don't bite first, they won't bite back.

I made it through the weekend without a single communication received.  Mind you, I didn't send any out either.  Call me old fashioned, but I'd rather be pursued than the pursuer.  I've put myself "out there" by posting a profile.  Men should be flocking toward me (or my profile) and sending me messages left, right and centre!  Here I am world (of men), come to me!  Or not.

I did get a nibble by a 51 year old man.  Should I be flattered or disgusted?  I know I'm 27, but with an age difference like that, the word pedophile was one of the first to jump into my mind.  I'm more inclined to be flattered if a 23 year old male model from Spain views my profile.